16

I was talking to R the other day about how I’d known that I liked girls, so here it is:

The concept bounced around in my head from about 8^th grade on, but as sex was such a vague, theoretical thing at that point I didn’t spend much time thinking about it until after I’d had sex for the first time. When I was about 16 I decided that I wanted to figure out this whole sexuality thing. At that point I was unsure of whether the ‘crushes’ I had on girls were really that, or if I just really liked them, wanted to be good friends with them, wanted to be like them, etc.

My solution was to focus on one of my go-to fantasies. Now, I’ve never had a vanilla fantasy. The ‘story’ in question was a guy holding me down, forcing himself on me. I then replayed it, substituting a girl. I decided that it was much hotter that way, therefore I must be a lesbian. My first concern was not an identity crisis or wondering if I'd be accepted. My worry was “What could a girl do to you, though?”

(I later realized that just because I am attracted to guys infrequently, I certainly can be. I figure I’m a 4.5 on the Kinsey Scale.)